My mother has cancer

Or, is it cancer that has her?   

And through her we have cancer, too

Words that never meant anything to us, unknown utterances now consume our vocabulary

Stage 4 – c is not a stage direction and taxol, though killing her cell by cell, is our only hope

It’s a roller coaster, constant ups and downs

Living from one doctor’s visit to the next, one chemotherapy to the next, our lives are now the clichés of other cancer survivors

The doctors test and we wait, afraid to know the results and terrified to not know

Is that pain in her side the end?  Will it ever end?

Medical science has miracles every day

We hope she is one

A new drug to help her, one that was not yet invented three years ago

Another surgery

Another prayer chain

Is it a conspiracy?  Our food preservatives?  Or something we trusted, like Tylenol?

We are being poisoned and there is no cure

Our bodies are a time bomb and we wait for them to go off

Is there anyone we know who doesn’t have cancer?  Doesn’t have a loved one with cancer?

Families grieve in the hospital waiting rooms

In the grocery stores, in the funeral homes

For now this is the end, yet we still hope